Instead of ‘turning away’ from pain in avoidance we can learn to gently ‘turn towards’ what we’re experiencing. We can bring a caring open attention towards the wounded parts of ourselves and make wise choices about how to respond to ourselves and to life.
It’s a paradox that we all must understand: It is by turning towards negative emotions that we find relief from them – not by turning away.
Painful emotions can change you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.
The pain, just…
Being strong and resilient incorporates the ability to be emotionally flexible, accepting whatever one feels without judgement.
The opposite of LOVE is FEAR, according to Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) and Paulo Freire (1921-1997), both said it in different ways.
Paulo Freire, a Brazilian expert on education, philosophy and psychology of language, who was a leading advocate of critical pedagogy said: “The opposite of love is not, as we many times or almost always think, hatred, but the fear to love, and fear to love is the fear of being free.”
And I have found that the opposite of love is, indeed, fear. Fear results in retraction to the individual self, to accuse the other, to choose to label, to attack, in some blind idea that psychological projection is protective. It results in judgment, anger, and separation, all opposite of the goal or the affects of love…inclusion, sharing, compassion, trust, extension, joy.
Many philosophers have explained what love is for them, and what the opposing emotion of it is: indifference, according to Elie Wiesel. I guess it depends what the situation is. But I would argue, kindly, that the indifference is provoked by fearitself.
Life is changing dramatically in front of us all, and around the world. Life always changes, it’s true, but right now the changes are daily, and aggressive, some are so painful for many, like the lose of life due to Covid-19 and to horrible torture executions like the one that happened, so sadly and painfully, to George Floyd in Minneapolis (RIP).
How to cope with these terrible suffering that hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people are going through right now around the world? Sometimes it can get very scary for many when thinking about the future. and usually these patients develop several mental issues, like: panic attacks, severe anxiety, anger, depression, suicidal thoughts, that can make them manifest physical symptoms or aggravate the ones they already have.
But don’t forget that your life is precious, and that you are never alone. There is always someone who cares, but try to reach out before things get out of control in your mind.
Try to read positive quotes, hopeful good reads. Listen to calm music or any uplifting music of your preference. Surround yourself of really good people who love you for who you are.
Practice some fun exercise. It doesn’t have to be exhausting, just a good walk or playing with any ball. Observe nature, do something that make you really happy: cooking, reading, spending lots of time with your pets.
Do not despair if it seems that nobody cares about humanity. Sometimes it can feel that way, but there is always true good people who care for you if you just reach out. It could be a neighbor, a friend, relative, or these phone numbers where ever you are in this beautiful earth we live:
First of all: Happy Halloween to all of you who enjoy celebrating holidays as much as I do. I celebrate everything, if I can and my time allows it, I do celebrate holidays of all cultures and countries since we have a cultural diversity at home: White-Anglo-Saxon, American, Mexican, Spanish, Italian, German. Soon to be added to this beautiful family of mine, Asian!
So, these coming days we get to celebrate Halloween and “El Día de los Muertos” (The Day of the Dead). The first one is mainly of Celtic origin in Ireland, United Kingdom and Northern of France. The second one is, guess from where? Yes, you guessed right: Mexican.
This year we decided to get together, have dinner, talk, enjoy each other’s company, and watch scary movies. This year movies will have a topic: The Scariest Medical Doctors of all Time!
Dr. Giggles (Dr. Giggles, 1992)
Dr. Henry Jekyll (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde)
Dr. Frankenstein (Frankenstein, first appearance 1931)
Dr. Jack Griffin (The Invisible Man, 133)
Dr. Caligari (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, 1920 and 2005)
Dr. Abraham Van Helsing (Dracula, first appearance 1931)
Dr. Loomis (Halloween, first appearance 1978)
Dr. Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of the Lambs, 1991)
When we are born our parents or caretakers try to teach us what they were taught by their parents.
Most of us were told that there is a God in heaven and that if we are good girls or boys we will go there one day. Later (if our parents were kind enough not to scare us with the existence of hell at a very young age), when we grow up a little they tell us that there is a place with flames and very hot where people who misbehave go when they die.
Do They Exist?
I think this idea of heaven and hell is taught in one way or another pretty much by all religions. Fear and hope.
I grew up believing in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Yes, Catholic, in Mexico. I even went 12 years to a Catholic school, full of beautiful, funny and sometimes angry nuns if anyone of us dared to upset them! But, seriously, I had a great time there. I remember my life being very happy at primary and secondary school with the nuns.
Remembering The Nuns with Love
Then, when I went to medical school my brain started to ask many questions to science. I learned, My curiosity grew. I studied more and my questions expanded in number and complexity. Decades have gone by and I still have thousands of questions. I have found the logical answer for many of them, and yet, many still without an answer.
But it’s okay. Curiosity has made me learned so much about the brain and many other areas of science, that the more I learn the more doubts I have. It’s a beautiful curiosity vicious cycle!
…And I Am The Goddess? …. j/k 😇
Yes, I do not believe anymore in what my wonderful nuns from my childhood and my parents taught me about their religious God. I am one hundred percent irreligious. But I don’t pretend to know the whole truth. Even science makes mistakes.
Just like when you want to see a medical doctor, you want to make sure that you are consulting a true qualified graduate medical doctor, don’t you? You want to see his medical license and maybe you check him/her out on the Internet or even call the medical board of your state/country to corroborate that s/he is in fact a physician.
And that is how you should behave when you navigate in the internet, exactly the same way. You should always make sure that the person giving advice has the proper qualifications and professional training in the field you want advise or guideline.
There are thousands of people in social media and all over the Internet that want to make a quick buck, and they use their expertise in advertising to start a digital business promoting health products, physical therapy treatments, “health magazines” that have damaged a lot of people who are desperate for a “cure” and they haven’t found it in traditional medicine for different reasons:
Graduate medical doctors who are not well trained.
Lack of interest by the healthcare provider in the benefit of the patient.
Medical doctors who just care about billing the medical insurance for pure profit.
Physicians who never had an excellent qualified expertise attending patients as a whole.
Physicians who do not keep on studying the newest medical advances and do not keep up to date on medica scientific advances.
Even the most credible information found online is useless in the absence of expert physician evaluation and diagnosis. Tell your doctor you fully trust what you have read online. Email them the article that’s captured your interest, or print it out and bring it to your next appointment. A good doctor will walk you through it.